I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
