He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
