I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
