drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize