I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
