I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Randomize
