She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
