i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize