he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
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