Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize