I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
