Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
