it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize