Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize