my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
