i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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