my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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