I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
