dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
