She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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