I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
