i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
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