i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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