He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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