Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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