A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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