My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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