Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
