grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
