1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
