I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
