What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
