so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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