just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
