Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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