Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
