I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
