I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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