after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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