did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
