She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize