I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
