Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
