I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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