Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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