She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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