Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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