paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
