He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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