I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
