I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
