he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
They have beer where we have blood.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
