I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
MIDGETS
????
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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