is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Randomize
