READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
