Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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