so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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