It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
