why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize