that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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