Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
