I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
