Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
