Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize