I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
third nipple confirmed
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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