Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize