Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
When did angry sex become our thing?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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