Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
