I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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