your thong is hanging out like whoa
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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