My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
40s are totally the cure
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
