I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
