so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
