I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
two words...techno handjob
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
