to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
