ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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