Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
