like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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