I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
