Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
