If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Shame - the story of my life.
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