i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
