every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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