I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
