This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
