so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize