genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
