dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
