I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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