I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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