Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
