Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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