i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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